Gill. 26. American. Filipina. College student. INTJ. Raconteur. Photographer. Fangirl. Gamer. Aurally fixated. Criminally mad at the world.
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indescribable Music: The Tide is High - Billie Piper Reading: Stuff for school, Game InformerI have a LOT to say so I think I’ll put everything behind a cut. Be prepared, this is sort of a cathartic entry. So much has happened in the last few days.
Some good, some bad, all me. 
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accomplished Music: She Drives Me Crazy - Fine Young Cannibals Reading: Yeah, you already know ;)This has been a great week. Three amazing things have happened. So far. 
1. I GOT THE JOB! Now that I’ve been able to sleep on it, I am a little nervous about how my co-workers will treat me when they hear the news. A lot of them are petty about things like this. But I don’t care. They know how I work. I know that they know I won’t let them walk over me. I don’t expect to be there forever, but I do want to make some moves while I can. If opportunity knocks, are you going to stay in your little corner and pout? Hell no. Get up and git it! My mommy left the sweetest comment on my wall:
“All the best in the world daughter #2. You have the P blood in you, aggressive. Love you. See you Sunday.”
That meant a lot to me. She and my dad are two of the most important people in my life, and to have them – and everyone else who commented on my status when I announced it on FB – in my corner makes me feel like I can take on the world. I need that to live. I need to know that there is someone out there who is thinking of me. Even if we don’t show it any other way than through FB status updates, comments, tweets, emails, texts… if I know you’re with me in spirit, nothing can stop me. 
2. EPIC GRADUATION PARTY!! My best friends in Nor Cal are itching to come to Vegas. They need a reason though ’cause none of us are flush with cash like some people are. That’s the same with me. I wouldn’t visit Nor Cal unless I had a reason, lol. What better reason to come to Vegas than to party with me when I get my bachelor’s degree? It’s also the weekend of A’s birthday so it’s even more of a reason to party! The second weekend of May, Vegas won’t know nothing about this, lol. I’m probably going to take a long weekend, since my vacation restarts in February. I plan on putting them up in hotels with my employee discount. The weather is still really nice in May so they have no cause to complain. They’re all afraid they’re gonna melt if they come here in the summer. I keep trying to tell them otherwise but ehhh. They’re hard-headed.
Friday, everyone should arrive early enough. Friday will be a chill day too. No point in getting shitfaced the day before the big celebration, lol. We’ll probably do some walking around the Strip, show them my ‘hood, my work, take them to CityCenter, the Bellagio, maybe the Shark Reef.
Saturday we’ll have my commencement ceremony to attend during the day, and then a potluck at my house immediately after. It’ll also be a family thing so I hope my immediate and extended family can come. I’ll probably invite some people from work too. We decided on girls’ night out on Saturday too. One of my co-workers is a bouncer at his second job, so I hope he can put us on the guest list for his club. Even if we don’t stay the whole night, it’s all good. I want to boogie a little bit on my special day. Sunday will be family day. Some of the girls will be bringing their families down so I suggested the Hoover Dam. Still haven’t been, lol. Besides we’ll prolly all be sleeping in after all the running around we’ll have done the night before.
I am already worried because of my girl E. She has a boyfriend and babies that need to be attended to before any epic Vegas trip happens. She’s going to discuss with her boyfriend S before anything is set in stone. I respect that. It’d be sucky for her to come without them if you ask me. I don’t know how other mothers can do that, up and leave their young kids behind, even if it’s a girls’ only thing. I hope they can save up enough money in these next few months so they can all come down. *crosses fingers* Usually T has problems with money, but as far as I can tell, she’ll be good to go. And A is definitely looking forward to ditching her boyfriend for the weekend, lol.
I can’t wait to have them here! Just thinking about it is making me excited. It’s also making me want to fight for these good grades. It’d suck ass if I failed and then celebrating would have been for nothing. 
I mean, I’d still be happy they were here and we’d still have A’s birthday to celebrate with, but I wouldn’t be able to get my little event of pomp and circumstance. This is a milestone in my life and I want to enjoy it with my favourite people.
And speaking of school, I got a B+ in my Historical Investigation class. *Snoopy dance* It’s amazing how close I am to a 3.0 with that grade. I had a 2.81 and now I’ve got a 2.94. Suck on that, grad school! Two of the classes I’m taking next semester are lower division lit classes, and I KNOW I’ll ace ‘em. I’ve done so much upper division work that taking lower division at this stage in my schooling will be a cakewalk. I might even pull off a 3.5 so I could get an honors distinction at graduation!
Cum Laude: 3.5-3.69
Magna Cum Laude: 3.70-3.89
Summa Cum Laude: 3.90-4.00
There was one semester where I got a 3.7. I mean, I won’t die if I don’t get it, but it’d be nice to have a honors degree to show off.
3. EPIC CHRISTMAS SHOPPING!!! My paycheck went through last night. When I told my dad that I had gotten paid and was going to run errands, he chased after me like I was a little kid. You know how you do that to kids and they run screaming from you? But it’s all in good fun? Yeah. My dad’s weird. I’m absolutely positive that’s where I get it from, lol. Anyways, I bought my goddaughter 3 presents off her list: an Elmo Aqua Doodle Set, the Crayola Beginnings Color Me a Song, and Mega Bloks.
Something my teacher noted to us in class last semester was how gendered kids’ toys are. Everything is split, boys vs. girls. It’s like we’re subversively telling our kids that only girls are expected to play with pink frilly dolls and Hannah Montana mics, and boys are only allowed to play with dark, menacing dinosaurs and lightsabers. I was kinda disturbed that the Mega Bloks I got for her were clearly geared towards girls. The blocks were pink, purple, and baby blue. I’m sure M would’ve been satisfied with whatever I give her, because she’s a baby and doesn’t know any better. But just thinking about that made me stop and think how hard it is to raise a child with the right values system today.
I got my Ate a bartender kit that she had her eye on that I said was from me and the girls, with an additional gift from only me. That damn thing was hard to wrap! I made it look like Lawrence of Arabia. I bought C the Disney Monopoly set. N’s present came in the mail the other day: Super Mario Bros for her DS. I also need to get them an Origami and lanyard kit respectively. I hope they don’t read this lol. I don’t think they know about this blog. I hope I hope I hope. I also bought stuff for everyone’s stocking. The dollar aisle at Target baby, that’s how I do. I even bought little Christmas ball ornaments for my tree. It looks way more Christmas-y which is hard to do since it’s so damn festive already.
I’m giving my parents gambling money this year. Last year, I got them sensible clothes and books. It’s hard to shop for them sometimes. I know they’ll appreciate it though. They LOVE to go out for a few hours and enjoy themselves, playing the slots, and not worry about us.
I bought the Hangover on DVD and I got a free Monopoly card game with the Disney Monopoly game. So I wrapped ‘em up, and stuck it under my tree for myself from “Santa,” haha. I like doing that. Why shouldn’t I wrap presents for myself to put under the tree? If I don’t, I’m not gonna get anything. I’m too old to get presents, and like my mom says, “Everyday is Christmas.” But there’s a BIG box that N pointed out to me today that was mine. I’m excited.
?: “Do you think children’s toys are gendered? Have you ever thought of them that way before?“
chipper Music: I Remember Nothing - Joy Division Reading: World War ZHope all is well in your world.
On Black Friday, we did a bit of shopping at Urban Outfitters, but none of the stuff we got was on sale. They didn’t have any Black Friday sales there, oddly enough. Which was just as well because I had 2 gift cards that I won so it wasn’t like I was spending my own money, haha. I almost bought my Christmas dress there but it was the strappy, short summer kind. Definitely not dead of winter friendly. Hopefully I can save up some money and splurge. I want a new dress for Christmas this year.
Then we walked from Mandalay Bay to the Bellagio Conservatory and to see the fountain show. We walked past CityCenter, and it looks effin’ amazing. And I’m not saying that because I work for the same company. It truly is a beautiful sight. I hope it’s just what Vegas needs to get back to number one. The company nearly went bankrupt, just to build it all.
We saw “Planet 51″ afterwards but I think both of the girls were tired after all we did, so neither of them enjoyed it. C opened her big mouth via text and the next thing I know, her friends S and G show up! C didn’t even want to see the movie to begin with. We both wanted to see “The Fourth Kind” but we got there too late and the next showing was at 10pm. Their mom told us not to stay out too late. And the day after, N – who was pushing us to see “Planet 51″ ’cause scary movies scare her – admitted she didn’t enjoy “Planet 51″ either. *headdesk*
If you haven’t heard by now, I got my rejection letter for grad school. Needless to say, I was in shock. I kinda thought I would get rejected but I was hoping that I wouldn’t. I remember watching kids in the movies when they got letters from their schools. And that excitement was staring right back at me as I unfolded the letter. I was pretty sure their requirements said they needed to see proof of a completed bachelor’s degree to even think of accepting you. If that was the case, I would never have sent my transcripts as is. I would’ve waited until I got my GPA up before submitting them. Boo. It’s more cutthroat than I thought.
I was tempted to throw the letter away but I decided that it’s part of my material history now. I am going to keep it as a keepsake to remind me that I applied even if I was rejected. I can go to my grave knowing that I tried. Everyone is urging me to go forward with my education but right now, there’s quite a bit on my plate to worry about that now.
For one, I still need to finish my degree! lol. I’m not worried about that. I think I will do OK.
Another big thing is I interviewed for a job promotion at work with my immediate supervisors this morning. They kinda sprung it on me. “You!” he says, pointing at me. “We need to interview you today!” Reading that it sounds mean but he didn’t say it like that. They’re desperate to fill these lead positions so the faster they interview the people on their docket (both within and outside of the department), the faster we can get back to a good place. It’s been kinda weird not having a lead.
Anyways, my heart fell into my stomach. They’ve been priming me for the interview, and I think I did well. I mean, even if I don’t get the job, I still have a position. Now I need to do well in the second interview with their boss. I also have to hope and pray they don’t hire outside of the department. *crosses fingers* I probably won’t get confirmation about it for awhile. I also have to hope that I get hired first, so I get first crack at the shift I have my eye on. *crosses toes and prays to God*
And on top of all this, the Christmas shutdown! It’s three weeks again this year. Have to wait until they release the schedule before I can make plans.
One of the questions I was asked in the interview was if I had an outside issues that might interfere with my job, and I knew they were thinking of school. If I get this promotion, I will need to shuffle my spring class schedule around. 1 class meets Mon/Wed, the other 2 meet once a week on Tuesdays. If I get the job, I will need to work school around my job. That’s a first but I can handle it. Logically, I’d have to drop the Mon/Wed class. But then I’d be down 1 required class.
I was looking at CSN. If need be, I can take a replacement 3rd class there. The section I’m looking at meets for online for 2 months. It’s a lower division class though, so I hope it’ll count for my degree. I emailed my advisor to confirm all of this, I hope she replies soon so I can plan accordingly. Or I’ll have to push out graduating again. *le sigh* I mean, I’m still planning on walking across the stage in May. I just won’t be able to hold the actual degree in my hands until I take that last class. Well, hopefully I can take that CSN class and be done with it next year.
Ugh, see how complicated my life is right now? lol. But if I don’t get the position, I have nothing to worry about. I still have a job, and I can take all 3 classes. So I guess it’s a win-win for me.
On the upside: SUPER MARIO BROS WII. I love this game. I will never stop saying that. I’ve almost beaten it too. World 5 out of 8. Plus I got my “Dustland Fairytale” vinyl in the mail today, mint condition from a seller in the UK. It’s a limited edition numbered one. It’s hella sweet. I’m afraid to open it, haha. I love collecting Killers merch.
?: “Do you think your life is complicated?“
lethargic Music: Take My Hand (Remix) [featuring Cassadee Pope] - The Cab Reading: Olivia JoulesI was hoping they would call me into work today, but no joy. My irritation at not getting enough hours is beginning to weigh on me, especially when I see my paychecks. I don’t know what to do. I can’t ask for more because I’m not supposed to be working that much to begin with. And when I do go into work, it’s for these half days or whatever. And half the time I am scheduled, they send me home anyways!
I was hoping they would starting doing those 10-hr shifts for three days. My supe was dropping hints like that. You know what I could get done if I knew I only had to work for those hours? A LOT. 3 days on and 4 days off, a semi-set schedule? Sign me up! But this sitting on the edge of my seat, wishing and hoping and praying they’ll have hours to give me is so emotionally deflating. I’m tired of fighting. I really am.
One of my co-workers worked 6 days straight, but only for half days or six hour shifts. That sucks! It’s not worth the gas to be going back and forth like that. Those 2 hour shifts are a slap in the face too. D:
So after I called in and they said no, I rolled over and went back to bed. I put the “Royal Pains” marathon on USA to lull me to sleep, and didn’t get up again until noon. I thought I would try and get some homework done today but really, who wants to study when you wish you could be making money? *le sigh*
I’m burnt out! And I hate it!
I ran around town with my Ate and the girls so N could get her violin this afternoon though. My car was in the driveway so I had to be the chauffeur. N got orchestra as her elective this year (her first in middle school). Her enthusiasm for wanting to play is so draining. Honestly, when she gets excited, she won’t stop chattering and chittering. N is living proof that we are descended from monkeys, lmfao. Love her though. I bought a bitchin’ snare drum necklace at the first music store we stopped at.
They were tryin’ to jack us for a deposit at that store though. My Ate supposes it’s because her credit check didn’t go over so well. But we went to Bonnie’s Music Shop down the street from our house. The girls used to get their piano lessons there, so the guy who works there hooked us up. I don’t remember my mom putting down a deposit on any of our instruments but it has been awhile since elementary school, and this is a different town.
I am tempted to pull my flute out of storage, get it tuned, and start playing again. I miss playing music. I never really played for fun. I always had the specter of getting graded on playing well hanging over my head. I’d start playing piano again, but our piano is in our living room. It’s hard to play when people are coming and going, being loud all the time.
Plus if I were to start playing, I can imagine the scenario. If my dad was downstairs watching, he would probably mute the TV and gasp if I hit a wrong note. Then I’d get flustered and upset and either start over or close the piano and run away. He and my mom did that when me and my little brother actually did take piano lessons. That’s really annoying that you can’t even be creative without a parental unit looming over you, gasping in a judgmental, dismissive way and going, “Play it right!!” I wish I had continued with band in high school, but I found my love of theater instead those four years.
We went to Target after, where I got a cute new purse. Much more roomy. IDK what to do with all the space though, lol. I also treated everyone to Baskin-Robbins after ’cause we were all hot. I was checking ForecastFox and I guess another heat wave is coming in this weekend. I hope I don’t get called in. I’ll stay cooped up in my room not doing anything. I can stand the heat because it simply doesn’t bother me. In fact, no place is ever warm enough for my thin blood. But when a heat wave rolls in, it’s awful. I am also infinitely glad I don’t work at the Despot anymore. Working in that heat would be brutal.
?: “Do you play an instrument?“
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