discontent Music: Therapy (featuring Evidence, Blu, Talib Kweli & Kid Cudi) - The Alchemist Reading: Watchmenlol, I missed last night’s NaBloPoMo entry again. I was playing The Sims 2: Castaway and lost track of the time. I beat the game though; I didn’t realize how close I was to the end, lol.
I checked to see how much money I was getting paid this week (my bank leaves a little message whenever there are pending deposits) and it’s awful. It’s like a paycheck from when I worked in retail. I want to work so I can pay my bills, no doubt. But at the same time, I want so badly to be lazy and do nothing. Which is dumb because it’s not like I have some pending engagements elsewhere. I’m just a lazy cow. I have no motivation to be a functioning member of society sometimes. *le sigh*
I was smart enough to save most of my money from the last few paychecks, and that should tide me over this month. I need to get my hustle on. I need to keep my eyes (all four of ‘em!) on the prize. But it’s hard to keep your momentum up when you’re the only one who is going to be affected by your decisions. Sometimes it’s like “why fight? Whatever I do, no one is going to get hurt by what I do and don’t do but me. I’m negligible in the greater scheme of things. Life will go on, whether I’m living it or not.”
I haven’t been feeling particularly dark or depressed lately; just v. aware and reasonable about life’s machinations.
I wrote this last night while I was freaking out:
Don’t look at me with your bedroom eyes
Can’t forget that we said goodbye
Why did I come here tonight?
A glutton for pain
My biggest sin was letting you turn the light on inside me again
It sounds like a song. In fact, I was so afraid that it was a song that I Googled it before posting this entry, lol.
My car registration is due this month, so I decided to get the smog check done today. That was fun ’cause I passed. My biggest fear is that one day they’ll tell me “you failed.” In fact, the couple in front of me was rejected for some reason or another, wasn’t really paying attention, lol. And they still had to pay!
I was debating grad school again. I know right? Talk about a glutton for pain! I looked at the requirements for UCLA & before you should even apply, you need a statistics level math class, as well as advanced computer programming. Whiskey tango foxtrot! I took the classes that would make the requirements for this degree and that’s it. This is what happens when you decide on things too late. I’m sure if I had done things differently, I might’ve been able to anticipate applying there. Oh well. Too late now.
?: “Have you ever written something that you thought completely original, and thought to yourself ‘I wonder if I’m plagiarizing’?“
The less that can be said about me, the better.
At least you’ve written something. I haven’t written anything in years!
What happens at a smog test? What do they check for?
Years? Wow. I think my problem is when I write stuff is that I either start it and never finish, or I never know when to end it, lol.
That’s a good question. Smog is what cars spit out of the tailpipe. I’m sure you’ve seen the grey cloud over Los Angeles in movies and stuff? That’s smog from all the cars. Well, the visible smog. Smog can also be invisible, which makes it just as deadly.
At a smog check, they’re checking to make sure your car passes your state’s emissions standards. It varies from state to state and is in place to try and keep the air clean.