But you're as cold as yesterday's mashed potatoes

Mood: confused  Music: A Fine Romance - Ella Fitzgerald and Louis Armstrong  Reading: Olivia Joules

Second to last day of NaBloPoMo!

I am weirded out right now.

Firstly, I was on call again but I wasn’t called in. Again. So I flopped over and went back to bed for a few more hours. I woke up and was up again by 1130a. Not bad. But that wasn’t what was so weird.

What was weird was that I kept clock watching the whole dang day. Why? I don’t know! In fact, I’m blogging earlier than I usually do. I think it’s because I’m used to working on Sundays. So my brain sort of has a predisposition to be cranky on Sundays because of it, lol.

I did my laundry ’cause I desperately needed to. It’s a good thing I wear uniforms ’cause I was down to my last pair of jeans, lol.

I played Super Smash Bros Brawl, beating the game with Mario on Easy. My plan is to play the Classic mode with each character until I beat that part of the game. There’s a lot of different ways you can play the game. I love it. It’s definitely my favourite video game ever. I feel accomplished when I’m beating the crap out of the other players. I’m demented.

I also finished my homework. I KNOW RIGHT? It shouldn’t be all that surprising considering I’m only taking 2 classes lol. In fact, I told myself if I didn’t get called in again, I’d do my homework.

I read a little bit further in Olivia Joules and it’s really compelling so far. I’ll have to remember to dump it in my bag tomorrow so I can read it after work when I’m chilling at school. I have work in the morning and school at night tomorrow. I think I’ll bring my CD player too, so I can study my French.

I applied for a part-time job through Snagajob as well. I’ve gotten 2 decent jobs in the past through their site so I trust that I might have a chance again. Hopefully they’ll call me. If not, it’s OK. I’m sure there is someone out there who needs a job more than me. I’ll just have to keep watching what I spend.

Anyways, while I was eating dinner, I wanted to catch up on the news. I caught up on all my Dear Abby and Miss Manners columns. I love those ladies.

But then I came across this article about a young girl who got pregnant on two different occasions. Her name is Carmela Camero and she is 19 years old. The first was a stillborn which she dumped in a trash can outside of the Mirage in 2006. The second one she smothered against her chest this past Sunday, the day before we started classes. She was attending my school for nursing. We have a massive nursing program at my school. I crossposted the article to both Facebook and Twitter so I’m sure you’ve seen it.

I would like to give her the benefit of the doubt and say she was mentally ill. But with a good conscience, I can’t. She knew what she was doing. Both times.

I’m torn up. I cannot imagine being so selfish as to consciously murder my child, whether I knew of the pregnancy or not. I would not be so stupid to accept the assumption that my family would judge me for being a “whore” for having a child out of wedlock. Nor would I let that affect me so much that I would kill another living thing. This is 2009. There are options. Safe haven laws are in place to prevent this sort of thing from happening.

This wouldn’t happen in my house. For one thing, I couldn’t hide a pregnancy with my Ate and my two nieces as nosy as they are, lol. And it’s a good thing I come from a family who loves babies as much as we do. Disowning didn’t happen when Ate announced C’s pending arrival in 1994. We love them just the same. And even though N was brought into this world the same way (out of wedlock, C was a shotgun wedding), she’s still my little buttface. My Squishy. And C is my Sassy. I can’t imagine them not being in my life. They’re like my sisters. They’re my babies as much as a tita could claim them to be, lol. /weepy

My parents would probably give me that disappointed look that I know so well. I know they’d think I could’ve waited or that I was smarter than that. But they’d support me as much as they could and do whatever they could for me and my child. And they’d love my baby as another addition to the pantheon of cute grandchildren. ‘Cause no lie, the grandkids are hella cute. Biased Tita is biased, haha. I love that I have that support in my family. I’m grateful that I have that on my side. I hate that Carmela didn’t.

And her family! The first time she hid her pregnancy from her family and panicked when she delivered the stillborn. This second time she didn’t know she was pregnant. She lived at home; how could you not tell your daughter was gaining weight?? Of course, with that one show, “I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant,” it’s possible to not know you were. But then again, you’d been pregnant before. The symptoms would sorta kinda be the same right?

I’m not placing the blame on anyone because maybe there is something deeper here. But I am sick and disturbed by the whole thing. She has a Facebook (search by her name Carmela Camero but I don’t have access to it) and a MySpace. In fact her status on MySpace says this:

has class tomorrow. ugh.Mood: annoyed at 7:07 AM Aug 24

The article states that “according to police, her baby was already dead.” Rage!

As a tita and future mother (I hope), nothing pains me deeper than crimes against children.

?: “What do you think about the article? About the situation?“